Tomorrow is my second appointment with the Dr, after going and having the EEG, which thankfully has improved since the last time I had it, and was luckily bulk billed.
I am in the worst mood, I think he will tell me to take up the dosage of epilim and go for another EEG, thats all fine and good, but when will the line be drawn as to say sorry, the pills can't do enough, you can't drive. Everyone says ' you will be fine, you will be able to drive, there are tons of people who can drive with epilepsy who take medication blah blah blah', also apparently the epilepsy I have something like 90% of people grow out of it by 20, ( which is what my mum was told over 10 years ago) and in 10 days exactly I will be turning 20, and I don't see me miraculously curing myself of epilepsy.
My Dr told me that if I couldn't get the pills to control it then I can't drive........ I am soooo over this all.
Not to mention I keep messing up at work, I need to find a new job, one that requires no skill, has better pay then $15 before tax, is close to public transport, is a day job and is 3-5 days a week not including Sundays,
not mention they have to not care that I don't drive ( it is very surprising how many job requests state you must be bale to drive which don't involve pizza deliveries.)
I have to be able to save up $18000 to go to FBI in 2013, I am not sure I should even bother, these past 2 years have just felt like the biggest failure, I will feel like I have succeeded if I can just get a average paying JOb and drive like a normal person, I spose it best I try an not hold any ambitions or dreams for 2012, but I don't know, is wanting a job that fits the above description a dream or just a practical but difficult requirement to survive the next year.